Monday, May 2, 2011


Keeping a blog that focuses on one's past is hard.  My past experience with my ex-husband is a part of my story, a part of who I am and will be a part of my future.  Sometimes I wonder if writing about these issues keeps me in the past too much.  However, I actually think it helps me continue to grow and work through issues as they continue to affect my life.  But it would be unfair to say that sometimes I think it would be easier to not to explore these issues.  Sometimes it seems easier to push those thoughts away and keep them under the surface.  But I know that in the long term that would be so much worse.

I recently thought back to why I started writing: to help others who may be experiencing a similar story and to help myself as I continue on my journey.  In the last few months I have heard from several women with similar circumstances to my own.  My heart hurts for them.  Our stories are similar but different.  Our paths may be parallel at times, but may go forward in different ways.  Everyone's story is unique, but one thing rings true - none of us deserved what happened to us.  But how we react to what happens to us in our lives is what we do have control over and that is how we will survive and grow and thrive.


  1. I love your last sentence - it applies to all of us regardless of our situation. All we ever have control over is ourselves.


  2. What Big Little Wolf said to me keeps resonating; it's not our past, but our present. We're urged to get past or over it, but that's simply not possible when our kids are still affected by it every day. It's not our past, but our present. And I agree with Mandy: how we continue to work through it is the true testament to who we are.

  3. My nightmare began more than 21 years ago. Not being able to adequately nurture my sons during that time was the most difficult thing to live with and it still is. I fell apart, and my family was aunable or unwilling to help. I am not sure I will ever get over it, or feel normal. The damage done is extensive, and I do feel like the only one, because I never met another. Thanks for your post.

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