Saturday, February 5, 2011

Visiting the past

I divorced my husband when  my son was only 2 1/2.  Although the inclination was to destroy everything that reminded me of my marriage, I realized that it was important to keep some things for my son.  Even though his dad had some major problems, he was still his father, and I knew he would want more information as he got older.

Last week, my son stated asking about seeing my wedding pictures.  Specifically he said he wanted to see me look weird in a big white dress and he wanted to see pictured of his dad.  I had not looked at these pictures in a few years and I expected it to be very difficult.  Interestingly enough, it wasn't bad.  We sat down, looked at the photos and shared some of my memories.  Those times feel like a lifetime ago...a different lifetime.

Although the collapse of my marriage was devastating, it is good to be able to look back and see how far I have come.  When it appears that your life is over, there is hope that it can be re-created.  It takes time and hard work, but it can happen.  It won't be the same life, but it can be good...maybe even better.


  1. It is just a chapter in the grand scheme of things. The last chapters are the best!

  2. My daughter has also asked for my wedding pictures. I have given them all to her. It's odd to see pictures of her dad around her room, but it is all she has of him and I've accepted that.

  3. Isn't it amazing how time really does heal most wounds? I know I've come a long way because I can tell the girls about talents their dad has, or ways he made me laugh when they remind me of him in a good way. I think they really appreciate those memories.

  4. Oh, I think better is in store for you! Definitely!

  5. I know lots of people throw out everything to do with their wedding when they get divorced but when you have children it's different. The wedding is like the beginning for them and it's natural for them to want to see the pictures. I think if they don't see that, it can create a hole or a void for them.

    I think all too often we spend much more time remembering all the bad things. It's good to remember the fun things too - can't all have been bad or else you wouldn't have got married. And maybe that's what our children can push us towards when we look through wedding photos with them ...

    Thinking of you,