Wednesday, September 8, 2010

Taking the High Road

The current post at Since My Divorce is about how I handled my divorce proceedings.  I believe very strongly in taking the high road and not doing things that were contrary to my character.  You can read the post here.

It made me think of a funny little story I thought I would share.  I was really angry with my husband.  However, I tended to intellectualize my anger and dealt with it within the complex web of other emotions I was feeling.  As Mandy describes, I purposefully took the high road in my divorce.  Part of this is who I am.  I did not want to sink to the level that my husband was acting on.  I also did not want to do anything that I would regret in the future.  I wanted to handle an impossible tragic situation with as much grace as possible so that my son would see that example.

I never really regretted these actions, but sometimes I would imagine what it would have been like to dump all his clothes and personal stuff on our front lawn, so when he arrived to pick up his stuff it would be a big embarrassing mess.   I never really wanted to do this, but I did fantasize about it.

The things I did do were on a much smaller level.  In packing up his things and storing them in the garage, I found our Precious Moments wedding topper.  I was struck by the innocence of the piece:  the idyllic round-faced, wide-eyed groom holding his bride in his arms.  Suddenly, I grabbed a hammer and attempted to bash it to pieces.  The hammer struck the groom's head and demolished it, while leaving the bride intact.  So much for happily ever after.  Then I placed it into one of his boxes for him to find later.  It was a small thing, but it was symbolic.  I knew when he saw it that he would know just how much he had hurt me - and that was enough.


  1. Hey, you gotta get it out somehow. Taking the high road is very smart when you have a child. You did much better than I would have.

  2. Awesome! And much less potentially damaging (and costly) than a court battle!

  3. Just so you know - I stuck to the high road too...but for one day when I dipped his toothbrush in the toilet!! LOL!! I can't believe I did that. Still makes me happy though - ha - 7 years later....:-)


  4. You are a strong, wonderful woman! I love your blog! So, couldn't resist choosing you to receive the One Lovely Blog award!
    Head over to to receive your award!!

  5. wow! Our stories are SO similiar and it seems the way that we handled them are too! So glad I found your blog and will be following you!!!!!

  6. Yep. I get this. I can think of LOTS of bitter things I could have done too.

    Emotion is a powerful thing, isn't it?

  7. Oh, how I love your blog. Thank you, Debbie, for your wisdom and honesty. You are a gift!