Monday, July 5, 2010

How I Got Here (Part One): The One

Telling my story is something I want to do.  It is the story of how my life turned upside down in an instant and how I got to where I am today:  a single woman and only parent to a seven year boy.  I am a little scared to do it, but since a big part of my story involves someone else's lies, deception and manipulation, there is something freeing about wanting to get it out there, be honest and stop keeping someone else's secrets.  My story no longer defines me, but it is definitely a part of who I am.  The more I understand it the more I understand myself.

I dated a lot in high school and college.  I went to all the homecoming dances, proms, date parties, etc.  I had boyfriends (some serious some not).  I had break-ups (some my choice, some not).  After college, things changed.  I realized how much harder it was to meet people out in the "real" world.  So I dated here and there but often picked men who were not good for me.  Then I had one of those Aha moments.  I still remember that turning point when I realized it was better to be alone than to be with someone for the wrong reasons. 

At this point I had graduated from college and grad school and had a great job that became my career.  I was living on my own and was proud to be an independent woman.  I often wondered if I would ever meet anyone that I could see myself marrying.  Sometimes I felt like I would always be single. 

Then I met him.

We "met" under completely random circumstances.  That sounds so mysterious, doesn't it?  It was the early days of dial up internet (when a 14.4 modem was high speed) and America Online.  On AOL, I had a profile and my screen name contained the name Snoopy, my favorite cartoon.  He randomly "found" me when he was searching through the AOL community for people with similar interests, long before online dating.  About 3 months in, we discovered that we had mutual friends.  It was a "small world" kind of moment.  I took the opportunity to "check him out" and got great reviews.  People who knew both of us thought we would really get along.

I already felt I liked him, but was not sure how it would be in "real life."  It took some coordination but after months of long distance communication we met in person.  I remember that date like it was yesterday.  How comfortable the conversation was.  How much I wanted him to kiss me but was impressed that he didn't.  How I came home and called my mom and said that I could picture myself marrying this guy.

After that weekend, we saw each other almost every weekend for over a year and talked almost every day.  I was continually amazed at how he did not play games.  We could both be ourselves, be real, be honest.  We both commented on how refreshing that was.  We dated for a little over a year when he proposed to me.  I was thrilled.  I had found "the one."  The one who made me laugh, sent flowers for no reason and let me be ME!  It was not always easy.  We successfully made it through a career change for him, a job change for me, a move for both of us and normal relationship growing pains.  We married about a year later...on the 2nd anniversary of our first date.  It felt right.  It felt real.  I could not imagine my life without him.


  1. I love the feeling of love. Don't you? I hope you're finding this journey theraputic.

  2. Just found these posts. I'm glad you're writing them, BTW. I totally agree that telling our story is a great step in our growth process.

  3. Your story is similar to mine except that I am the recovering cheater. Oh, and I'm not a pedophile!