Wednesday, July 7, 2010

Anonymity

                 As I work on sharing the story of how I came to be an only parent, I am finding myself thinking more and more about privacy and anonymity.  I am not ashamed of my story.  Telling my story is not only therapeutic but it may help someone else out there feel not quite so alone.  But a dear friend emailed me today and asked if I had thought about any potential impact to my son in the future if he were to come across the blog or if his friends were.

Now I HAD thought about this, but now I am thinking more.  There is a line between being open/honest and maintaining some privacy for the sake of family members not being harmed in any way.



So where does that leave me in making sure that I can openly express myself but also protect him?  I could use some feedback here!  : )

3 comments:

  1. I don't think there is a right answer. Only you know what is going to be good for you and your son. And "you" includes the whole you, not just the mom part of you.

    What I can tell you is that as I have blogged, the freedom to honestly express myself - my truths, my faults, my weaknesses, my strengths, and my stoies - has really helped me better define who I am and what is important to me. It has allowed me to see myself more clearly and more confidently because as I hit "Publish" I am clear in what I am saying and sharing regardless of how I am percieved by a reader. That is not to say that I do not edit myself and refrain from "putting some of my stuff out there" - but typically I am able to weave my words in a way that allows me to be honest, forthright, without being naked and too exposed.

    That being said, I am not in the position yet, that "a reader" could be my son. Nor am have I lived your story or know your whole truth. So I struggle - because what I want to say is that your story is worth telling and sharing - not only for others, but also for you. I want to say that your son, eventually, will know hear the entire story from various sources...and being able to know the story from your perspective, as written by you as a person, not just you as a mom, may be ok - dare say, good even?!!?

    I don't know...it's a hard one. But I do know that you will make the best decision for your family.

    'been thinking of you!

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  2. I go by a psuedonym as well because I don't want people to be able to google me and find my blog. I'm certainly not ashamed, I just don't want anyone IRL to read it without my permission. It's easier to be 100% me if I'm doing it psuedo-anonymously.

    That said, I do post pics of me (and sometimes of my monsters)from time to time. I think it's easier for others to connect when they put a face to an idea.

    Doing what you feel is best for you and your little man is great! Obviously, only you know exactly what that is.

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  3. There are ways my children's identities are protected, even if I do show pics from time to time. The girls know about my blog, but they don't visit it. They sometimes read my posts on Parentella and the now-defunct LA Moms, which are more general, but they understand that my blog is my place. They also already know that everything is true.

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