Wednesday, March 31, 2010

what is the point

I have been reading a lot of blogs lately.  I have found some that really "speak" to me while others are just plain boring or have no relevance to my life.

I have also been writing a lot of blog posts.  Most of them have stayed unpublished for various reasons:  the topic feels too personal; the writing seems too poor; the post does not seem to make any sense and could be compared to the ramblings of a get the point.

So that brings me to my point...what IS the point of blogging - for ME?  Do I want a place to express myself?  Do I care if anyone reads it?  Is it merely a waste of time?

I don't know.  I can answer yes and no to all of these questions depending on my mood at any given time.  So I will post THIS entry...even though it is rambling and some people DO compare me to a lunatic.  Maybe posting it will give me some clarity....or maybe not.

Cartoon:  Alex Young 2005

Friday, March 12, 2010


The word that every mother hates to hear, but I KNEW it was coming.

Today Grandma took him for his 6 month check-up (which was 3 months late because I kept forgetting to schedule it) and he has 2 or 3 cavities plus bleeding gums.  Not good.

Teeth brushing has always been a fight in our house.  A fight I often give up.  I am not proud of this, but I let my kiddo wear me down.  I get tired of the fighting and the whining and the crying.  I know I need to be stronger and more disciplined, but sometimes I am not the best mom and I do not make the best choices.  I am trying not to beat myself up about this, but it does come down to being consistent and teaching him what he needs to do to stay healthy. 

Being a single/only parent means that you are ALWAYS the bad guy.  Always the one who has to make the tough calls.  Always the one to make my kiddo do all the horrible things that childhood entails:  showering, chores, homework, eating vegetables...AND brushing teeth.   I am strong enough to be the bad guy when I need to be...but on this issue I had been avoiding it.

So - this is a wake-up call.  Good dental hygiene has been moved to the top of my list.   YAY TEETH!

Saturday, March 6, 2010

Big Rocks

Yes - I want to post, but have other things I need to do.  So, for right now I am sharing a link to another blog post that I found, while procrastinating the other things I need to do - LOL.

Tuesday, March 2, 2010

Losing it....

I am always losing things:  car keys, Blackberry, sunglasses, gloves, the earrings I took off at bedtime, prescription bottles, mascara.  You get the picture.  Usually things turn their own time.  Currently I am missing one pair of sunglasses.  Up until 5 pm today I was also missing my car registration and my "to do" list notebook...but I found them...after days of searching.  That was a relief because when they were lost, I was quite anxious.  The sunglasses don't worry me...they will show up in time...their own time...NOT my time.  Or I will buy new ones.

My life seems to be a process of losing things and finding them.  Sometimes it causes great stress.  Sometimes it is a mere inconvenience.  I find something, sometimes I keep it, sometimes I lose it.  Losing can be good or can finding.

I changed my major 5 times in college...then I found my calling and graduated.   I found true love.  Then I found out it was not so true...and it became a lost cause.  I found a house and it has become a home.  I was lucky not to lose it during my divorce.  I've lost friends...and have not always got them back.  I've lost perspective but was able to refocus.  I lost the life and future I had imagined, but I re-created a new life.

I have a friend who feels she has lost some of herself since becoming a mom.  I think that is OK.  The process of losing and finding seems inevitable in life.  It's not easy and sometimes I'd rather skip the whole thing.  But I do think that living through the process teaches us it's own time.