Sunday, February 14, 2010

the past

The past is in the past, right? Sure, except when it keeps creeping back. Sometimes it sneaks in stealthily and slowly. Other times it jumps out at you and shocks the bejeezus out of you!

Whenever someone is going through a difficult situation, there are likely to be many well-meaning people who say stupid things like: You'll get over it; Time heals all wounds; God doesn't give you anything you can't handle. Well, my own traumas have taught me many things...and none of those things are on my list.

My truth is that the past IS the past, but it can also be in the present and it will likely be in the future. You don't get OVER things - you get through them. And by getting "through" them I mean, you get through them OVER and OVER again. You reconcile the past into your present and your future. Life is not linear. It is a cycle. When we realize that, I think that we can better cope with life's ups and downs.

Today the past came back and smacked me in the face. I am fine...it's really not a big deal. But I really wanted to acknowledge that the past does NOT always stay there, no matter how much work you do. After an initial anxiety spasm, it helped to take a deep breath and remember how far I have come, how much I have handled and how much I have grown. And with that, the past shrinks back into a corner, because I am not scared of it. It will stay in it's place for a while, I hope.

2 comments:

  1. I totally get this. I kept hoping that eventually, the past would stop haunting me, but it comes back over and over. The good news is, it's not always the stuff of nightmares. I'm slowly learning how to integrate the best parts of who I was into who I am today, and part of that is recognizing what I've been through.
    Glad you found me! I'm looking forward to getting to know you.

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  2. Debbie- I've just found you via since my divorce and I love this post. It's happening to me as I sit here right now and you've said it in exactly the way I feel it. Thank you.

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